Me

A year ago I had my life together, I knew what I wanted out of it and I was determined to get it. I was going to be successful and live the American Dream, I am an Accounting Major and my plans were pretty well set.....then Jesus came in and screwed it all up....I have no idea where I'm going to be in 10 years, my calling is not to be a normal American that sits in an office working my life away for material things that do not matter. One of my personal favorite stories in the Bible is the story of the rich man going up to Jesus and asking him "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"
Jesus replies "If you want to be perfect, sell your possesions and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come follow me"

I have pondered this story for years, the next part is what really gets me is when he says "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven"

I've wondered why Jesus says that it is hard but not impossible. Why is it hard for a rich man to enter heaven, but it is possible still. Obviously if you want to be perfect you have to give up everything, but what if you want to remain rich and still enter heaven?

I think the reason he says it is so difficult for the rich to enter heaven is summed up at the end of the story when he quotes "But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first" This didn't fit into the story until I read it a couple times.

Many times with rich people, they hide behind their money. Their security often comes in their nice cars and expesive clothes. Jesus says you cannot love both God and money. If you security lies behind these things then how little faith do you have in God. I would much rather have my security in something eternal than something I can't take with me when I die.

A year ago I admit I defined myself by these things. I'm not boasting because I hate that I did this. I was obsessed with hiding behind these unimportant things. I can't believe I was so insecure with myself that I actually these things would make me happier. O how wrong I was.

It wasn't until I worked at a salvation army camp that I came to terms with the reality that all I was doing was trying to make myself better than everyone which is the opposite of what Jesus taught us. We were told to bring old clothes because they would get ruined. I spent the whole summer wearing my awesome thrift store shirts and if I ruined them I didn't care. They didn't define who I was anymore, my security wasn't gone when I messed it up...

The most important thing I learned was no longer did my clothes get in the way of loving people, no longer did the things I had get in the way of loving people. I'm not saying that I just went out and threw away all of my stuff, I just try everyday that nothing I own gets in the way of loving people. Jesus calls us to be servants to man. This how I have challenged myself...it's not easy but Jesus never said it was. My future used to seem so certain, but now I realize that nothing is certain in this world. I just know that everyday I have to wake up and begin the Journey of that day. Take this walk step by step and seeing where God will lead me.

When you truely just take it day by day then tomorrow will never be a worry for you. It scares me to think about graduating and what I am going to do with my life because my biggest fear is having only one life to live and not living it to the absolute best I can. I know that this life is not going to be easy and Jesus never said it would....look at his followers, most ended up dieing for what they believed, but how great is their reward for that? It's when we believe something with such a passion that we are willing to die before we would renounce God that people start to ask questions. Take this world, just give me Jesus...

This is just part of my battle, part of my story, part of who I am and try to be, and maybe by sharing it someone else can learn faster than I did...